Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Click.
It is 7 a.m. on a typical Thursday morning, your nerves are racing and you wake up without hitting snooze 10 times. And it is clear why, it’s Speech Day.
Shower, shave, contacts in, make yourself look presentable. Pick out clothes: white dress shirt, black tie, dress shoes, black socks, argyle sweater and khakis. Get dressed. Shirt seems a bit tight on the neck, still fits. Pull on pants….wow, when did these have trouble getting past my thighs. Go to button pants…..try again….and again….this is definitely not good. I can’t button my pants.
This was my experience only just a few weeks ago. This is not a pity me story, this is not an “Oh, let’s laugh at the fat kid” story. This is a realization.
In society, it is unfortunately normal that a woman will look at herself in the mirror and not like what she sees. She thinks she can lose a few pounds here, touch up the make-up there. But when a man looks in the mirror, the same does not hold true.
Men are supposed to be confident about their bodies, they are supposed to have a “Johnny Bravo” effect on themselves, thinking they are the hottest thing to be placed on God’s earth. They are NOT supposed to look in the mirror and see a double chin starting to form. They are not supposed to feel bad that their pants don’t fit.
How did we get here? Why is it that I, as a male, do not feel comfortable in my clothes? When is it that you start to be afraid of the scale and the number it will show? 120 pounds, 150, 200, 250 … what is the number you fear the most?
This doesn’t just affect people who think they can lose a few pounds either. It can affect anyone. The guy who does not like the acne that forms because of stress, or the businessman who has to wear two undershirts to not sweat through his suit.
But instead of embracing the way we look, we turn to alternatives: some healthy, some not so much. We go to the gym, we eat right, cut out fast food and soda to cut our weight. We go to the doctor about the acne, buy extra strength antiperspirant. Others use pills, develop eating disorders or worse, decide they don’t want to live anymore.
Why? Why did society decide we are supposed to embody movie stars like Ryan Reynolds, Channing Tatum or Chris Hemsworth, instead of actors like Kevin James, Seth Rogan or John Goodman? When is the last time People Magazine chose someone without six-pack abs to be the sexiest man alive?
I can go to the gym, get my hair done up nice, buy a wardrobe that I am confident in. But I will always see something else that I want to fix on my body. I will always want to lose a pound here, a pound there or wax a hair that grew where it should not have. Because it is ingrained in my head that perfection is the only way to look attractive in society.
This feeling, it sucks. This attractiveness seems unattainable. I walk past my reflection in the window of a shopping complex and I don’t see something I like. I see a stomach that’s a little more than a tummy. I see someone who doesn’t fit in. I see someone who needs to lose weight. That is not OK.
Somehow, you got a pair of pants to fit for your speech. They are tighter than tight and you feel uncomfortable inside your clothes all day. The button looks like it will pop from the seams. You finally get back to your room, and peel off the pants that have been restricting your breathing all day and all that is left is marks.
Marks because your pants were too tight. Marks that symbolize the weight that needs to be lost. Marks that remind you your body is wrong. Marks that are proof, it’s not just women who feel bad looking at their reflection, men feel it too.
