Spicer says ‘so long’ to tumultuous White House

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White House Press Secretary and hit “Saturday Night Live” character Sean Spicer (played by Melissa McCarthy) resigned from his post on Friday, July 21. His departure is the outcome of a recent hire, Anthony Scaramucci, as communications director. Spicer had expressed strong disagreement with the president about his choice, but ol’ Toupee wasn’t having it, and so the beloved mouthpiece will grace the podium no longer. In lieu of an article detailing why Spicer’s absence will not be missed save for a few more hilarious late night skits, I thought his time could best be summed by a highlight reel. A collection of all the blunderin’, mumblin’ and stumblin’ it took to fulfill a post that we believe Sarah Huckabee Sanders is secretly pissed she got stuck with. Cheers to you Spicer, and all your bullshit.

The Inauguration (January 21)

Despite reports from dozens of news and fact-checking websites about the attendance of President Trump’s inauguration, Spicer insisted that “This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration period, both in person and around the globe.” Photo comparisons clearly disproved him, but a few days later Kellyanne Conway “cleared” things up by introducing the now notorious “alternative facts” in Spicer’s defense. A rocky start.

Travel Ban (January 31)

This one was tough, even for Spicer. Following the signing of Trump’s first draft travel ban on January 27, Spicer discussed the executive order at length with the press. He had to somehow convince them, and their readers/viewers, that this was not a ban, but rather an extreme vetting process. Normally, that might be a breeze for a press secretary, unless, of course, the president was quoted himself describing the order as a ban. When asked about the contradiction between himself and President Trump, Spicer claimed “I’m not confused. I think the words being used to describe it are derived from what the media is calling this.” I’ll let you figure that one out.

The “SNL” Embrace (March 10)

Though he thought Melissa McCarthy’s impersonation needed a bit of work, Sean Spicer seemed to turn a corner with the comedy show during an exchange with a reporter. While answering a question he deemed “silly,” Spicer jokingly warned “Don’t make me make the podium move,” in reference to a stunt by McCarthy during the latest “SNL” skit. See, Spicey? If you laugh at yourself, it doesn’t hurt as much.

Rob Gronkowski (April 19)

Hey, they don’t all have to be bad, right? During a Wednesday briefing, New England Patriots star tight end Rob Gronkowski poked his head into the room and asked Spicer if he needed any help. Spicer replied “I think I got this but thank you,” and had a brief laugh about the moment once Gronkowski left, admitting “That was cool.” Frankly, that would be cool.

Chemical Weapons (April 10)

Depending on your opinion of certain military action, Trump’s decision to launch missile strikes against the Syrian government in response to Bashar Al Assad’s use of chemical weaponry on citizens may be one of the few positive points of his presidency. At the least, it can be debated, unlike the other 99 percent which has been ludicrous and laughable. Well, leave it to Spicer to muddle that potential victory by the Trump administration with a quick Hitler comparison: “Someone as despicable as Hitler, who didn’t even sink to the level of using chemical weapons.” He expanded on that quote quite ungracefully but managed to affirm that he was aware of the Holocaust and meant to express that Hitler never used gas attacks on his own cities. Some true stumbling there.

Tweets

This wasn’t actually a specific briefing, but rather a common occurrence in the tenure of Sean Spicer, and it really wasn’t his fault. President Trump is quite the Twitter enthusiast, taking to the social media site to express his 140 character opinions like a rebellious teen. Often, these tweets were mentioned in press briefings for the content they commented on; Spicer’s classic response to them became “I’ll let the tweet stand for itself.” Even Spicer had to wash his hands of that, and I can’t blame him.

I will miss you, Sean Spicer. Take those alternative facts and slightly unnerving tension you radiate and deploy them wherever an important person is spewing like an idiot. You served brilliantly, but this overgrown Oompa-Loompa was too much, and I understand. On that note, hello Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

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