By Troy Kelleher
Asst. Sports Editor
Go to espn.com and look at the menu bar tabs.
You’ll find a tab for the NFL, the NBA, the MLB and a handful of other popular sports organizations.
But that’s so mainstream. When I go to ESPN, I bypass the sports for the masses, I go to what’s fresh, what’s new and what’s undiscovered.
I go to the ‘more’ tab, the tab with all those bizarre sports you won’t see in the ‘top ten plays of the day.
These are the forbidden sports, the underground sports, and the kind of sports you watch in dimly lit basements with a group of strangers you know on a first name basis only.
So grab your thick-rimmed glasses, pop in your alternative rock CDs and check out the top 5 reasons you should be a ‘Sports Hipster.’
1.) Fresh Surprises → I had a good time during the 2012 Olympics, I watched Michael Phelps set the pool on fire and Oscar Pistorius pretend to be a hero; however, I never expected to be jumping out of my chair and frightening my neighbors with shouts of joy over…handball.
Yes, my friends and I discovered this European gem during a ‘dry period,’ when all of the Olympic ‘stars’ were resting.
The game was fast-paced and fun, something I could imagine playing in my elementary school gym class.
It quickly had my friends and I shouting at the TV and swearing at each other as some of us rooted for that one red team, while the others cheered on that blue team.
2.) No Limits → As a child, my favorite Calvin and Hobbes comic strip featured Calvinball, a fictional sport created and played, by Calvin along with his imaginary tiger friend, Hobbes.
They make up the rules as they go, and the only consistent rule of Calvinball is that there are no consistent rules.
Although he’d never admit it, Calvin is a ‘sports hipster,’ and he realizes that the benefit of obscure sports is that they are not strictly regulated by massive corporations.
These obscure sports bring people back to their roots, back to a time when sports were for fun and competition, not money.
The rules of the NFL will likely never undergo truly major changes, that’s why ‘sports hipsters’ turn to bizarre and evolving concepts that never grow stale.
3) Potential → I know, it’s painful for .a ‘sports hipster’ to see their undiscovered love get tossed to the masses.
But don’t be afraid, all big sports began as ‘hipster sports,’ even American football.
Yes, the sport that holds together small towns and causes deep hatred amongst divided families was originally just an offshoot of Rugby, first played by Rutgers and Princeton.
If the sports hipsters at Princeton had never decided to try football, where would America be today? Would we be forced to be productive on Sundays?
4.) Bonding → There is nothing that bonds people together more than a secret, and sports are no exception.
As any good ‘sports hipster’ knows, North Central College hosts a variety of intramural sports; and yes, there are some strange ones.
Take the CoRec Flickerball team, they meet in the dead of winter to play a game that combines the best parts of ultimate Frisbee, basketball, and football—it’s a ‘sports hipster’ magnet!
Sneak out of your dorm, create a fake identity, and join one of the many intramural sports offered by North Central.
And hey, if it gets too mainstream, you can always create a club for your own weird sport.
5.) Snobbery → “Oh, you’ve never seen European handball?” “Yes, I suppose something more mainstream like baseball would appeal to someone like you.”
Arguably the biggest perk of being a ‘sports hipster,’ snobbery can occur at any place or any time. Watching a Cubs game?
Ask your friends if they saw the latest Sunrisers cricket match, and behold the shame and discomfiture on their faces.
Just be careful, Cubs fans have been in a rather unpleasant mood lately.
