Hearing the words “penis,” “vagina” and “sex” come out of your parents’ mouths is something most kids don’t want to experience, but that is part of learning about the birds and the bees. The conversation doesn’t end there. It also comes up in the classroom during sex education over the course of several years in school.
Sexual education programs cover topics ranging from healthy friendships and how the body works to intercourse and safe sex practices. Professor Tammy Wynard, department chair of kinesiology, defines sexual education as “the responsibility for everyone to know how their body works. Number one, naming body parts accurately, number two, sharing the natural way of how they were made and how they function, number three, at age-appropriate ways, talking about changes that our bodies go through…how conception occurs, how to protect from diseases and being pregnant and so forth.”
These topics are taught throughout several years of school but what about outside of the classroom? What’s usually known as “the talk” occurs in a setting other than school and with an adult who the child is comfortable talking to. This conversation is exposure to sexuality before, during or after learning about it in class. Although it could be beneficial, the birds and the bees can also be a fearful topic to discuss for both the child and the adult.
Wynard has taught a number of health classes and each time she begins by asking who has someone to talk to outside of school. She found that less than half the students say they do. It can be shocking to a child to hear anatomical terms and sexual phrases in school if they were never mentioned at home.
In a 2002 survey conducted on 15-to-17-year-olds in the U.S. by Seventeen Magazine and the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, it was found that 83 percent of teens did not talk to their parents about sex because they were “worried about their parents’ reaction.”
According to Wynard, “the talk” is a phrase that should not be said because that sounds like only one discussion needs to be had. In reality, she thinks it should be an ongoing conversation. Children will learn more and more about their bodies and the bodies of others as they grow. Talking about sexuality only once at a young age won’t be as effective as it would be to continually speak about it through their teenage years when they could begin to experiment sexually.
Sometimes health classes are not enough to express the importance of keeping the human body safe from diseases and unwanted pregnancies. Having an adult at home to talk to about questions on this subject may make them more comfortable. This adult does not have to be a parent, it can be any trustworthy adult.
A 2010 study done by Elizabeth M. Morgan included a questionnaire titled, “Communicating about Sexuality” which she gave to 30 college students. In this questionnaire, she asked the young adults about their talks about sexuality with their parents. She found two types of conversations: “Restrictive sexual messages” and “Positive-sex messages.” The restrictive messages were mostly directed towards daughters, warning them about boys and instructing them not to have sex before marriage.
“Boys and men were not only cast as physically and sexually dangerous, but also as hazardous to one’s dreams for the future. This message sometimes emerged from the parent’s own experience,” said Morgan.
Boys tend to receive positive messages about sex. Within these college students, the males said their parents would be more accepting of their sons being sexually active and didn’t stress the practice of safe sex as much. Although, some reports found that the parents approved of sex in a committed relationship more than just casual sex.
“These two types of messages—sexual safety, and positive sex messages—were the only sexual messages that showed consistent base-rates across college,” said Morgan.
Sex can be brought up in a negative or a positive way with parents. The parents that tend to speak positively about sex are most likely trying to relate to their teen, knowing they will probably become sexually active as a young adult. Talking about sex negatively could cause rebellion in their child. While students to learn about safe sex in school, it may not be stressed enough which is why it could be helpful for a parent to emphasize the importance of it.
From Kindergarten to grade 12, students are required to take a number of health classes, but the quality of the education may not be consistent. “If the person that’s teaching it isn’t trained properly, it’s not going to be effective and that’s the missing loop,” said Wynard.
There are not strict, nationwide qualifications to teach sexual education in schools. If a teacher is uncomfortable teaching this subject, chances are their students will be just as uncomfortable in the classroom. These classes need to make students feel like they are in a safe environment so that they feel comfortable learning and asking questions about how their bodies work.
While many students stop taking health classes in high school, some sexual education courses can be offered in college. These courses could be for students hoping to one day teach health classes or for those wanting to gain knowledge on the subject just for themselves.
The more education students can have about sexuality, the less likely they will be to put themselves in situations that could lead to pregnancy or contracting STIs. If they do not get properly educated, how will they know how to practice safe sex or protect themselves from dangerous situations such as rape?
The National Conference of State Legislature Facts (NCSL) states that “24 states and the District of Columbia require public schools teach sex education (21 of which mandate sex education and HIV education)” and “20 states require that if provided, sex and/or HIV education must be medically, factually or technically accurate. State definitions of ‘medically accurate’ vary, from requiring that the department of health review curriculum for accuracy, to mandating that curriculum be based on information from ‘published authorities upon which medical professionals rely.’”
In 2016, the Illinois State Board of Education determined school districts are not required to offer sex ed. If a school chooses to teach a course on this subject in sixth grade through 12th grade, “the materials or lectures or instruction must include both abstinence and contraception as methods to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.”
