Imagine you’re a 16-year-old girl and on your first trip to the gynecologist — which, as every girl knows, is terrifying — your father tells you he’ll be coming along, not to support you, but to make sure your hymen is intact. Your father is going to accompany you to one of the most invasive appointments of your life to ensure that you’re still a virgin. As if the appointment wasn’t already traumatizing.
The above scenario really happened. Rapper T.I. recently spoke in an interview on the podcast Ladies Like Us that he has taken his 18-year-old daughter for regular “hymen checks” since her 16th birthday. There’s quite a few problems with T.I.’s comments, so let’s break this down.
First and foremost, because gender is a non-binary concept, the terms “female” and “male” will be used to describe one’s biological sex, not their gender or gender-identification. It’s important to acknowledge that not all females who have a vagina consider themselves a woman nor do all who identify as a woman have a vagina.
The idea that a female’s virgin status can be measured on the basis of her hymen is an inherently false idea.
The hymen is a thin piece of tissue located at the opening of the vagina. Just as no two bodies are the same, neither are all hymens.
“There are some females that are born with no hymen. There are some with very little. And there are some that have this tissue that completely covers the vaginal opening,” said Pat Hamalis, family nurse practitioner. “And actually in those cases, they would need to have a surgical procedure to remove some of that tissue to allow for menstrual blood to exit.”
The idea that a female’s virginity rests on whether the hymen is broken is where things start to get … sticky.
“When a female child is born, that hymen is very thick, said Hamalis. “But as the female grows and gets older, it thins out and the hymen itself can be stretched open or torn.”
While that stretching or tearing might occur the first time one has vaginal intercourse, there are also other activities that can cause stretching and tearing.
“Riding a bike or playing in sports or putting something else in the vagina, such as a tampon or a finger or a sex toy or something like that can ‘break’ the hymen,” said Hamalis. Once the hymen “breaks,” it doesn’t grow back.
Because there are many activities that can cause the hymen to break, the concept of virginity becomes more complex; it’s not nearly as straightforward as some might think.
Historically, Hamalis said, a virgin was someone who had not had “penis-in-vagina” intercourse. The problem, of course, is that there are other sexual acts individuals can engage in. This is when the idea of “virginity as a social construct” pops up.
“There’s oral sex, anal sex, digital penetration,” said Hamalis. “And there are people who participate in these other forms of sex and have never had a penis-in-vagina intercourse yet they don’t consider themselves virgins.”
On the other hand, there are individuals who have engaged in the above actions and do consider themselves virgins.
“What I find is that individuals … have their own interpretation of what virginity means for them,” said Hamalis.
In short, said Hamalis, “Having a hymen and being a virgin are not the same thing.”
But besides T.I. not understanding that the state of a female’s hymen is not indicative of her sexual experience, his comments highlight a frightening thought process.
Religious studies professor Shelley Birdsong explains how T.I.’s comments symbolize an almost cult-like rage, one that is evident in many religious societies.
“I would say we certainly see in lots of religious communities that it’s the responsibility of the woman to maintain her virginity,” said Birdsong. “Oftentimes in those societies, the men in that woman’s family also protect her virginity and her sexual rights.”
In effect, a female’s virginity becomes synonymous with her worth to society. “It’s sort of like the price the value of virginity is placed on a woman’s body as opposed to a man’s. And that’s just been like historically true, unfortunately, for a really long time. And that continues to be perpetuated,” said Birdsong.
The basis for this thought process stems from the cultural distribution of power. And, in most cases, this value of a woman’s virtue appears in patriarchal societies.
“We have come from very patriarchal societies and in patriarchal societies, men owned women, women’s bodies, and they … essentially bought and traded women’s bodies,” said Birdsong. “We didn’t buy and sell and trade men like that. And I think that has just continued throughout human culture for a really long time as a result of most cultures being patriarchal.”
The idea of who owns one’s virginity and who “takes it” is a complex question. Visiting Professor in the Shimer Great Books School Ann Dolinko adds that this “owning” and “taking” of virginity affects men just as much as women in a patriarchal society.
“Generally in a heteronormative patriarchy, men are devalued for being virgins,” said Dolinko. “Women are devalued for not being virgins because our sexuality is considered something we own and it’s a gift we can give away, which is a little disturbing.”
Looking back to T.I.’s comments about his daughter, the disturbing factor kicks in when it becomes apparent that he believes he owns his daughter and, by extension, her virginity. More than that, his comments indicate that he considers his daughter’s status as a virgin as the most important aspect of her character.
But T.I. is not alone in this thought process. As Dolinko points out, the idea that a father owns his daughter’s sexuality is something our society practices without even knowing it; this ownership is seen most clearly in wedding ceremonies.
“What does the father do?” asked Dolinko. “He gives his daughter, who is pure — she’s wearing white, he has to vouch for the virginity of his pure daughter — and he gives her away to her husband, who then gets to claim her virginity. So that’s the fundamental patriarchal narrative that’s played out to us and sold to us as romance.”
So can T.I. really be blamed for his comments when this trope of ownership is paraded to us as “romantic?” Yes, he can. The fact is, if T.I. sees his daughter first and foremost as a sexual being, then it becomes impossible for him to see her as anything else.
“If he sees his daughter as a hymen that he has to keep intact does he see his daughter as a president? Does he see his daughter as a philosophy professor?” said Dolinko. “No. He’s protecting his daughter’s sexuality. And that’s why she’s valued. Her value is in her sexuality. It’s not in her accomplishments.”
Of course, the other problem with T.I. admitting he forces his daughter to go through with virginity testing is the fact that the American Academy of Obstetrics and Gynecology has denounced virginity testing. Additionally, the World Health Organization released a statement in 2018 condemning and calling for an end to the practice.
“As health care providers, it’s our duty to do no harm to our clients that come to us,” said Hamalis. “Virginity testing really violates that ethical principle. It can be humiliating. It can be painful. It can be traumatic, especially if it’s done without the female’s consent and it’s not even reliable.”
WHO’s statement explains that there is no scientific research that indicates any sort of medical utility for the practice of virginity testing. It reviews the psychological consequences that correlate with virginity testing and the statement details the violation of human rights.
“Technically, if it’s done without the female’s consent, it can be considered sexual assault because the testing itself obviously is a genital exam and can include the insertion of fingers into the vagina, which without consent is sexual assault,” said Hamalis.
T.I.’s comments have brought outrage for many of the aforementioned reasons. But his comments have also reminded many that while the U.S. claims to be a progressive First World nation, it continues to practice patriarchal ideas that harm many of its citizens.
