Sex: one of the most unequivocal natural processes. In fact, nearly every human on this Earth is here because of this act. Yet, despite its commonality, the topic of sex carries a massive stigma alongside it. It is pushed out of our everyday conversation and normally saved for one big discussion, creatively referred to as “The Talk.” Maybe you were told about a magic stork that delivered babies to doorsteps, the strange metaphor of the birds and the bees, or perhaps you were given the lecture about “when mommies and daddies love one another very much….” You might have even learned through word of mouth because your inquiries were never acknowledged in the first place. Regardless of how nonsensical (or nonexistent) your first sex talk was, many people were offered sexual education in school. Yet, even still, that process seemingly creates more questions rather than answers.
A poll of 100 NCC students was conducted to find out more. It found that a staggering 57% considered the value of their middle school or high school sex education to be less than average, and another 6% did not receive any sort of sex education at all. Out of the ones who did receive it, approximately 78% of respondents were exclusively taught abstinence or completely refraining from sexual interaction as a form of birth control.
Although these statistics are enough to make one think about their own experiences with sex education, why does it matter? After all, everybody learns about the ins and outs of sex at some point, so why should anyone care about what is taught early on? As it turns out, lack of information and understanding of a topic is the recipe for stigma, and just like any stigma, it can be extremely detrimental to those it regards.
People of all walks of life are shamed because of sex. 47% of polled NCC students reported being socially criticized for being sexually active at some point in their lives, and the reality becomes even more upsetting when this is broken down into categories. Women, members of the LGBTQIA+ community, and religiously affiliated people are all disproportionately criticized and shunned on the topic of sex. If our society continues to push this conversation away, the ramifications will only continue.
Women
It may be no surprise that women are more likely to be criticized for sexual activity than their male counterparts. Many fail to realize that women do not have to be sexually active to be labeled as immoral. These stigmatizations against women are so familiar. They have been given their term: slut-shamed. In response to the NCC poll, some women chose to share their personal experiences with slut-shaming. Many reported being called derogatory names, losing friends and partners, and were subject to misleading rumors. Sadly, some even disclosed being harassed because of what they chose to do in their private lives. One woman, who will remain anonymous, shared an extremely personal experience in which she was brutally slut-shamed to the point where she admits it defined the rest of her high school experience. It is clear to see how women are unfairly judged regarding their sex lives and how the stigma can be harmful to them in particular.
Religiously Affiliated
One crowd that is often overlooked when talking about sexual stigma is the religiously affiliated. Many religions preach the idea of purity or abstaining from sex before marriage. While it is entirely respectable to believe in and practice refraining from pre-marital sex, the NCC poll showed a common theme of judgment regarding the sexually active that labeled themselves as religious or spiritual. One respondee shared that they were accused of being a bad Christian because of their personal choice to have sex and were scolded for “giving into flesh.” Another disclosed that they were characterized as not being a “real” Christian. While everyone is entitled to their own beliefs on this matter, it should be noted that those who choose to engage in sex should still be treated with dignity and respect. Shunning those who are religious and sexually active will only create more taboo around the subject but will also close doors to future conversations.
LGBTQ+
Another group of people that are unfairly sexually denounced is those who identify within the LGBTQ+ community. Out of the 100 students polled, 35 labeled themselves LGBTQ+. When prompted to answer the question, “Were you provided with proper LGBTQ+ sex education (in high school or middle school)?”100% responded no. Not a single respondent was given appropriate teaching corresponding with their sexuality. Alarmed? You should be. The Washington Post reported that, in 2020, 1 in 6 college-aged adults (ages 18-23) identified as LGBTQ+. This would conclude that nearly 17% of college students never received education on how to have safe sex.
NCC poll responses by LGBTQ+ students paint a depressing picture as well. Some reported being told that they should not be sexually active if it is unable to result in children or even being outed to their friends and family by their hookup. One person who identified as transgender described being put through their sex education courses with their gender assigned at birth and found none of the material useful or relevant. They go on to recount the many times they have been asked about how “trans sex” works and how dehumanizing it is to be asked such an inconsiderate question. Our world is evolving to become more and more inclusive for everyone, no matter their gender or sexual orientation. Without our sexual education progressing with the rest of society, the stigmas around LGBTQ+ sex will remain prevalent.
No matter what your view is on sex, most find it hard to dispute that it carries alongside it a massive stigma, especially for certain groups of people. It is hard to say exactly how such a universal and natural act became so taboo, but one can only assume that the lack of proper education and casual discussion about sex is a major factor. The stigmatization of sex can be deeply harmful to people, even going as far as ruining reputations and whole sections of one’s life. It is up to the NCC community to advocate for the end of sexual stigma by providing a sex-positive environment for people from all walks of life. This can only happen by promoting proper sexual education for everyone and being more open to conversations on the topic. After all, sex is one of the most unequivocal natural processes; it’s about time that society learns to embrace that.
