As a Mexican, my coming of age was when I turned fifteen. When a girl turns fifteen, a large party known as a quinceañera is usually thrown to celebrate a young girl becoming a woman. This practice involves many traditions like the giving of the last doll, which symbolizes the quinceañera is leaving childhood. The changing of the shoes from a flat to a high heel, to symbolize how she is becoming a woman, all the way to the dance of the quinceañera has with her chambelanes, the male members of her court of honor.
The thing about birthdays is that, at some point, it feels like you are hitting a milestone. Especially early in life when one turns fifteen, sixteen, eighteen or twenty-one. They each come at a point when a person is in high school, leaving high school, entering college and ultimately leaving college. It can be really challenging to navigate all the changes that come as you get older and grow up.
The positives of birthdays
Birthdays can often be a meaningful reminder of your life. “I feel like birthdays definitely do matter a lot, especially considering the idea of how it’s kind of like your own personal milestone,” said Jaydon Brown, ‘23. “I feel like every year gives you a recap of what you have done, but also keeps you motivated.”
From students to professors, birthdays can be a large celebration to join people together annually.
“In my family, birthdays were always a really big deal and I have continued that tradition with my own kids. I can remember my parents having a theme for my younger birthdays and a cake to go with that theme, and I now carry on that tradition,” said Jennifer Shah, assistant professor of education.
When asking other people if they care at all about their birthdays, not everyone seems to care if they aged another year. For some people, birthdays don’t hold any significance.
“Birthdays have never really mattered to me. Growing up, it didn’t feel like there was a need to celebrate,” said Grace Malatia, ‘24.
Getting older
Year after year, age can become more meaningful for some. But for others, it can be burdensome.
“It matters in fewer intervals as you get older. When you are younger, from one to two, that matters more, and as you get older, for example, twenty-three to twenty-four, there’s not a lot of difference,” said Brown
Personally, I always feared getting older. When turning seventeen, I felt happy. Seventeen felt safe; it felt young enough to conquer the world, and innocent enough not to be seen as a threat. Everything after eighteen felt like a rush to get to a destination not fully thought out. Like I was rushing to get somewhere without a clear understanding of what I even wanted. Being young feels reassuring in a way where it feels like I have an excuse to be innocent, or not know how to do simple things like paying for a parking ticket.
In some ways, I base a lot of my identity on my age, more so than anything else. I worry about what my life is going to look like at fifty. Or even next year. I worry about how I will look, and how I will view the world.
In terms of celebrating my milestone birthday, I didn’t have any. Not a sweet sixteen like many others have. Not even an eighteen birthday. Mainly because of the fear of getting older. I didn’t feel any different going from one age to another. Now, reaching twenty-one years old, maybe will be the year I celebrate my birthday.
