We have all grown up in different cultures embedded in our households. Somewhere religion was the basis of all and others not so much. Where dinner was always at 5 p.m. sharp or in front of the T.V. with some takeout. Neither of them better than the other, those moments are what shaped us into who we are today. That being said, we were taught how to “be ourselves” when in reality, we were trained and raised a certain way. Most of the time, when you’re under someone else’s roof or overly supported by another, it is difficult to create, understand and proclaim an identity. That’s kind of a lot for a young person to take in. College is that chance to edit your identity.
According to the dictionary, identity is the fact of being who or what a person or thing is. When we are growing up in the education system, we are told to be so many different things and have the most ambitious dreams. However, that is not how we create distinguished characteristics that last. Personalities change in every stage of life; hormones play a toll on identities for sure. But the culture that we were raised in as children is the mold for our identity for the developmental stages of our life. When we are surrounded by so many people that have influenced us––– family members, teachers and friends— for so many years, it makes it seem like that is the only part of you. Yet, there is so much more to be discovered. That discovery stage is called college.
This is the time where you soak yourself in homework, clubs and your own mind. You never realize how much is going on inside until you sit quietly alone in your college dorm room. These years are truly the developmental years. You can escape from the town you grew up in and make this new place your home. Some may think that means you can make a new version of yourself. But that is wrong. You cannot erase your past and all the events that occurred in your life before college that made you who you are. You can still hate brussels sprouts in college, it’s okay. Clearing and restarting your identity and should not an option; editing your identity is.
Sexual orientation, religion, gender, decision making, clothing choices, time management; can have a new meaning in college. You meet hundreds of new people a day and learn their stories. Yet, you need to start processing your own. This is the chance to do that without having your previous structure affect you. American Psychology Association (APA) studies consistently find that the majority of college students either currently want to or are trying to increase their emotional stability, conscientiousness and extraversion. Secondly, attempts and desires to change personality are inversely related to psychological well-being, meaning that the desire to change your identity will affect your overall mindset. Also, current levels of certain personality traits are inversely related to desires or attempts to change them. The APA findings show that people like to adapt themselves to new surroundings, but there are side effects and some things that will not change in our identities. Even if we are trying to change how extroverted we may be, there are still introverted parts about us that won’t go away when we are piled in a packed elevator in New Hall. Individuals who want to edit themselves because they know that there is a better version of themselves is good. Those who want to change because they’re around a certain group of people may never find their way because they have nothing concrete.
Personalities change. Lifestyles change. The person that you want to be and that you know is truly deep inside does not change. Let that individual out. Let them see the sun and blossom into a better version of what you already were. You do not want to look back on your college years and not remember who you were because it changed so often. Find that person today. Do things that make you uncomfortable because that is where you find your limits. There is no one else like you so you might as well be yourself. Edit as you may see fit but know that the mold from your childhood won’t disappear. The feeling you get when you smell the morning dew. The gut reaction when you know you just did something wrong. The overwhelming feeling when you look into your future or even at your bank account. Core memories and feelings stick with you, no matter how much editing you may do. Let yourself be you, your true identity is the legacy that you will find someday.
