In modern times, celebrity culture has been rampant in the media with ever growing coverage and their growing influence on each generation from music stars to sports stars and even royalty. The concept of Celebrity can be difficult to define as noted by Dr. Gayle Stever in ‘The Psychology of the Celebrity’ that “The notion of celebrity isn’t simply being known or “famous” but rather why a person is known”. Celebrities have earned their “fame” and influence through many different avenues but regardless of how its achieved and maintained, it is when the celebrity passes that their celebrity comes full circle. The reputation developed while alive is what defines their legacy after. What is it about a celebrity that causes people to feel the phenomena of a “parasocial relationship”? And what is it about a celebrity that causes us to mourn?
According to Shira Gabriel in “Why do People Mourn Celebrities?” for The SPSP, parasocial relationships “are “one way” relationships with celebrities”. It is where a fan of a certain celebrity or public figure turns their admiration into a certain dependency on them, this dependency doesn’t usually go deeper then admiration and wanting to follow their career unless the admiration turns into something stronger. Dr. Matt Johnson writes for Psychology Today in “How We Can Feel Deeply Connected to Someone We Don’t Even Know” that “we’re in a relationship with them, but they’re not in a relationship with us. This is called a Parasocial relationship”. By many accounts, it seems that parasocial relationships are considered normal. Moira Lawler writes in “What Are Parasocial Relationships – And Are they Healthy?” for Everyday Health that “Parasocial relationships are common and perfectly normal. She quotes Dr. Rachel Kowert “We’re human, and we’re social creatures, and we like to feel related to other people. The overwhelming sentiment seems to be that parasocial relationships are a normal phenomena, so is experiencing grief over their deaths also normal?
Five Stages & Grief
According to the Kubler Ross model and popularized in popular culture, the five stages of grief are as follows: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
Jennifer Lea Reynolds writes for Psychology Today in “Celebrity Deaths: Why We Grieve and Why it’s important” that “It’s a perfectly normal feeling to grieve the death of a celebrity, she goes on to consult professional psychologist Dr. Julia Breur who clarifies with “Feeling grief after a celebrity death is not unusual at all because when we like or admire a celebrity, we form personal attachments to them. A celebrity may have played an important role in our life at some point”. It seems that Grief is almost the ending stage of a parasocial relationship that has been formed. And simply part of a normal process. Would this mean that the five stages of grief theory also apply? Do other experts share this sentiment?
So what is grief? Grief, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is “deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement”. This doesn’t always mean that it is felt over the death of someone you know or even over death itself. Grief can be felt over the loss of anything that meant something personal to you as a person and all grief is valid no matter how small a loss is. A common way that grief is defined by is the theory known as the “Five Stages of Grief”, this was developed by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross initially as a way for patients to deal with a terminal illness but later became a popular concept for all sorts of grief. According to Dr David B.Feldman for Psychology Today in “Why the Five Stages of Grief Are Wrong?” This theory has now been disproven as “studies now show that grievers don’t progress through these stages in a lock-step fashion. Consequently, when any of us loses someone we love, we may find that we fit the stages precisely as Kubler-Ross outlined, or we may skip all but one.” However, why this theory has been dismissed by experts as the main way grief is dealt with, it is still a commonly used term when describing grief and it seems some people may still use it as a guide when processing their own grief. So what are the five stages?
In an conducted interview with Dr. Leila Azarbad, a licensed psychologist and current Professor of Psychology from NCC. We discussed many subjects with examples being her professional definition of grief, her opinion on the use of the five stages of grief and whether the grief over a celebrity passing is healthy. We also made reference to the Kubler-Ross model in dealing with grief. The interview video is located below:
In an interview with Alma, a Film with an Emphasis in Animation student who is currently minoring in Psychology at the University of Utah. In this interview we discussed the Kubler-Ross model and whether the five stages would still apply to grief. The audio of this interview is located below:
The Media
The coverage within the media regarding celebrities and celebrity culture has always been growing to the point of being extremely exploitive. Whether the celebrity has passed or is still living, they can experience all kinds of harassment even if some celebrities are an unpopular figure. While the media can determine someone’s celebrity as they are responsible for the publicity they received, it is very easy for the media to turn against a celebrity and exploit their deaths by using it as fuel for more articles. Famous coverage of a celebrity death can date all the way back to the 50’s such as Marylin Monroe’s passing, which the mysterious circumstances are still talked about and sometimes coverage of a celebrity can even lead to their death such as the death of Princess Diana in 1997.
Extensive coverage led to a boiling point with the passing of legendary NBA player Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna, TMZ were not only the first to report on his death but it was reported before the family was even notified. This was a common theme with the news organization as according to Oliver Darcy for CNN in “Police scold TMZ after outlet was first to report death of Kobe Bryant”, he reported that “In 2009, the website first reported the death of Michael Jackson. In 2012, the outlet broke news that Whitney Houston had died in a bathtub. And in 2016, TMZ was first to inform the world about Prince’s death”.
It would also seem that official offices could even be exploitative as Kobe’s Widow, Vanessa Bryant, sued the LAPD for leaking photos of the crash that killed him and their daughter as CNN reporters Paradise Afshar and Nouran Salahieh in “Vanessa Bryant reaches nearly 29 million settlement with Los Angles County in lawsuit over Kobe Bryant Crash Photos” state that “the photos included not just wreckage of the helicopter but close up images of the mangled bodies of those killed”. As the title indicates, Vanessa won close to $29 million dollars however, it is quite likely that no amount of money could truly fix the damage that these officers caused and no amount of criticism from TMZ can take away from the organisation announcing it before she even knew of the passing of her family members.
However, it is because of the media that we would even know these celebrities and would even know of their passings which leads to the grief effect being created. This creates a complicated relationship between the media and celebrity culture. In an interview with Dr. Steve Macek, Chair of the Department of Communication and Media Studies at NCC, we discuss the effects of the media on celebrity culture and the coverage they receive.
Personal Experience
Dana, MA in Interdisciplinary Gender Studies, BA in English Literature
Which celebrities affected you the most?:
Naya Rivera, Chadwick Boseman, Kobe and Gigi Bryant, Cory Monteith, Betty White. But nothing hit as hard as Naya Rivera.
How did it affect you?
I think the tragedy behind the circumstance of her passing really added to how painful it was, especially when media speculation had me believing there’s a chance she’ll be found alive. I’d like to think of myself as an optimist, so I was really reading into all of the threads twitter accounts were making on why they think they “possibly found her body”, etc. Finding out that she had actually passed almost immediately crushed that part in me that was holding on for some miracle. I know better now than to rely on things I saw on the internet.
Why did it affect you?
Naya Rivera’s character in Glee was the first representation of a closeted lesbian/sapphic I came across. Watching her struggle with accepting her sexuality while I struggled with accepting mine as an adolescent really made the whole process feel less lonely. As a queer WOC, Santana Lopez changed the way I perceive myself, my sexuality and my overall identity. I owe Naya a lot for bringing a character as versatile and strong as Santana to life. Though I was in my early 20s when she passed, and knew better than not differentiating between an actor and the character she played, Naya and Santana intertwined in my head and losing Naya felt like losing both. Losing her felt like losing a role model, to some extent. I was 12-13 when I met Santana, and it felt like I was saying goodbye to part of my childhood.
Ciaran, First Year University Student
Which celebrities affected you the most
Naya Rivera
How did it affect you?
I don’t think I cried, but I felt very very under the weather. I felt down for a while.
Why did it affect you?
She was my idol, she was my first representation as an LGBT person of colour. She played my all time favorite character on television, seeing her go so soon was heartbreaking
Kyle, Cinematic Artist, Music Theatre Conservatory
Which celebrities affected you the most?
Naya Rivera & Chadwick Boseman
How did it affect you?
I remember frantically checking multiple websites to make sure it was real both times, and being completely shocked. I remember when Chadwick died, my friend had asked me to help them run lines right before the news broke out. I remember I was super upset and they weren’t understanding why I wanted to cancel the FaceTime. I had an emotional reaction to both deaths for different reasons.
Why did it affect you?
Representation has always been an emotional thing for me since I was little and both Naya and Chadwick were big influencers on my life. Their characters were the first time I felt seen, also because both of the ways they passed were so tragic, sudden, and sad.
Kolbie, Bachelor’s Degree
Which celebrities affected you the most
David Bowie and Betty White.
How did it affect you?
I don’t think it affected me as intensely as others, in both cases my sadness was rather subdued. I didn’t cry, but my mood went into a decline.
Why did it affect you?
Familiarity and association from an outside perspective. For example, I’ve seen Betty White on screen since I was a kid. Plus she was on Golden Girls, a show that I would say is a classic or at least still talked about. With David Bowie, I’m sorry to admit, it’s because he played a character from a well loved movie from my preteens. Wish I could say it was purely for his music, but I can’t.
Billie, Cinematic Artist, BA in Digital Media Design
Which celebrities affected you the most
Selena
How did it affect you?
It was a huge loss for our hispanic community. She was an idol as a young girl. We looked up to her.
Why did it affect you?
I grew up listening to all her albums. If there was a new album that would be released then I would head to the store and buy a copy that same day.
Dr Gayle Stever is a Psychology Professor who currently teaches at Empire State College/State University of New York and also a published author. She specializes in parasocial relationships and we had a discussion regarding the grief surrounding it along with personal stories of her interwoven.
The Future
The passing of a celebrity will never stop as the cycle of life is to live and then pass on. What will never stop is the impact they leave behind on their loved ones, their fans, the media and the public. As long as a celebrity reaches the status of one, they will receive coverage from the media; living or dead. However, what we can observe is the Parasocial relationships that will continue to form throughout the next generations and hopefully better understand them. To also better understand why the phenomena occurs and how it isn’t unhealthy to feel grief over a celebrity you once loved, passing on.
If you are someone who is currently feeling experiencing grief, know someone who is suffering or have in the past but potentially are still having those feelings, I recommend seeking grief counseling from someone experienced in the area. Look in your local area for a potential service or online through services such as Betterhelp and Psyhcology Today.
