Elizabeth Stewart
Contributing Writer
While the idea of graduating from college can be exciting, some of the North Central College students are willing to add an even larger and more daunting task to their to-do list: planning a wedding.
College student engagements have become the new love trend around the United States and are greatly admired by many of the couples’ peers. Once a boyfriend gets down on one knee and holds out a beautiful engagement ring, the girlfriend tearfully says yes and then suddenly, the responsibility for planning and, in some cases, paying for a wedding begins. What is the adventure that begins once a couple decides to get married at a young age?
For North Central alumna, Kimberly Cramer, who married the summer after graduating in 2013, it became difficult at first to juggle classes, work and thinking of wedding ideas.
“It was hard to juggle all of the priorities in life, including student teaching, job hunting, applications, interviews, graduation, moving and preparing for a new job,” said Cramer.
Juggling the responsibilities of school and wedding planning are not the only difficulties some couples have to face.
“The difficult part for us was my husband was living in Hawaii,” said alumni Allison Luckett, who also got married in summer 2014. “He wasn’t able to be there for any of the appointments or decision making and it was ultimately my responsibility to plan our wedding with minimal help from anyone else.”
Being an engaged college student myself, I’ve found the financial responsibility of a wedding to be one of the most stressful aspects to handle. While I’ve been lucky to have parents and other family members help offset some of the costs, it doesn’t change the fact that weddings are expensive.
However, that doesn’t mean that the adventure isn’t enjoyable at all. Being at a young age and getting married in your early 20s creates a sense of being able to watch each other grow and mature as graduation continues to approach. Just ask seniors Shelby Fisher and Anthony Schullo, who just became engaged this past November.
“When people ask about struggles associated with wedding planning or anything, I kind of laugh it off because I find it extremely fun,” said Schullo. “I find it to be a wild ride that I really enjoy.”
No matter how stressful wedding planning can get, every time my fiancé and I finish another part of our own wedding, I find excitement bubbling up inside me and I usually spend the rest of the day smiling and telling my closest friends and family all about the new plans.
To many of the young engaged couples, family members or friends, who also got married at a young age, can be reliable for advice on how to maintain a strong marriage.
“Many people think that just because something did not work for them, it won’t work for anyone, especially a young person,” said Cramer.
While people’s intentions may be good, sometimes the advice comes off as negative and cause tension.
“People still to this day tell me I’m too young to be married,” said Luckett. “It gets frustrating, but in the end, you realize that their opinions are just that: their opinions.”
I’ve also gotten plenty of advice from older and divorced people saying I’m too young to settle down, I’m too young to really know what I want or that I should be “playing the field.” Of course, no matter what we young couples are told, we fully believe there are plenty of benefits to getting married young.
“It is important that you know you have a relationship that is communicative, supportive and unconditional, once you have those things it will be easier and more appropriate to jump into engagement.” –Anthony Schullo, ‘15
“I feel like when you are young you have a longer time to get to know the person instead of getting married and having kids (right away),” said Fischer.
“We do want to get married and we’re excited to get married, but we don’t have the pressure of needing to do it within the year or within six months,” said Schullo. “We’re going at our own pace and at a pace that’s enjoyable for us.”
One of the things I find most comforting in getting married after graduating is that in a future of uncertainty, there is one sure thing in my life: I’ll have the man I love by my side, and we will be able to overcome anything that is thrown our way.
“I still see myself married to my husband (years from now),” said Luckett. “When you’re married to someone in the military, your only guarantee is that you’ll be married to that person.”
Even the high divorce rates can’t dampen many couples’ spirits and there is a great certainty that the love and promise of commitment we young couples have found will disappear years down the road.
“I’m not sure exactly where we will be in a few years,” said Cramer. “But I see us excelling at our jobs and feeling even more comfortable living and doing life with each other.”
However, no matter how exciting and comforting getting engaged and married can seem, it should be taken as a serious and life-long commitment.
“Propose when you’re ready and for sure,” said Fischer.
“It’s important that you know you have a relationship that is communicative, supportive and unconditional,” said Schullo. “Once you have those things it will be easier and more appropriate to jump into an engagement.”
