Wishing wells and war machines: the defining computer games of the late 2000s
It’s 2008 again, your mom is yelling at you from the living room. You’ve got five minutes left on the computer, and then it’s your brother’s turn. According to him, you’ve been on it all day. You can’t stop now, though. Fireboy and Watergirl haven’t collected all the diamonds they need to open the portal, your ice cream cone just got eaten by one of the strange, cow-looking monsters, so of course you need to redo the round; and your party is literally about to die of dysentery on the trail. So, no. You can’t just get off the computer. You’ve got work to do.
We were the computer generation and still are today. Sure, the older generation had their giant work-computers, the ones that took five years to load a Word doc. And yeah, maybe our younger siblings can pull up Subway Surfers on their iPads, but did they sit anxiously in front of a dusty desktop while their favorite PBS kids game loaded? Did they fight tooth and nail to convince their parents that Club Penguin wasn’t rotting their brains, and that, yes, they did need to dress up Barbie on GirlsGoGames for the tenth time?
I didn’t think so. The computer games of the early 2000s to 2010s shaped this generation. Here are some of our favorite childhood games, and why they are still some of the best.
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Starting with an absolute classic: Webkinz. No one can say they didn’t spend hours picking out the perfect furry friend, and then weeks begging their parents to pleeeeeease buy it for them. If you were a blossoming child delinquent, like me, maybe you even contemplated cutting a tag off and making a break for it in Walmart. Or maybe your parents awarded every good grade, first place in a competition and difficult doctor’s appointment with a new animal. Either way, this website had our generation hooked.
The cloud-themed bedrooms and clawfoot bathtubs set our standards for home décor. We learned how to mix-and-match our clothing with tiaras, spacesuits and sandals. The Wheel of Wow taught us all about the rushes of gambling, and who knows, maybe the Curio Shop is the reason so many of us are now clear quartz collectors. Either way, Webkinz changed our personalities for the better.
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Up next, I want a show of hands: how many people tried to convince their teachers that Cool Math Games was actually educational? Yeah, that’s what I thought. So did I.
Did Run 1, 2 and 3 actually teach us anything about geometry? Maybe. Did bomb golf really show us how gravity works? Probably not. But did we still spend hours figuring out the perfect timing and coordination for every game there? Yes. Did we throw the darts, and pop the balloons, and make sure the two glowing siblings escaped the dungeon? Of course.
We may not have learned complex calculus, but Cool Math Games taught us the importance of teamwork, how to adapt to new situations and, most importantly, the determination it takes to replay a round over and over again until you finally cross the finish line.
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Now, one may ask themselves, but where did we get our ceaseless sarcasm, competitive drive, and terrifyingly accurate sleuthing abilities?
One word: Poptropica.
From Ghost Story Island and its murder mysteries to the Survivor-esque challenges of Reality T.V. Island, Poptropica did not hold back. Every island was its own world with a new set of people, and a new set of tasks for our avatars to complete. Not only that, but our adolescent selves even had the opportunity to combine one of the book series of the early 2000s — “Diary of a Wimpy Kid“ — with our playing time.
The side quests and puzzles involved in ‘completing’ each island gave us the critical thinking skills we value today, and the sassy remarks from each side character played a huge part in our generation’s sense of humor.
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Yes, our younger siblings may have gotten their first cellphones in elementary school, and maybe our parents constantly complain about our “phone addictions,” but can any of them truly say they’ve experienced the rush of a Webkinz Wishing Well? The exhilaration of finally sliding the gold cube onto the red square? The absolute joy associated with solving the riddles of Mystery Train Island?
I think not.
The 2000s remain the heyday of kids’ computer games, and it’s no surprise that those of us lucky enough to grow up during that time are some of the coolest, most innovative people around.
