An unrecognized problem in college is balancing a relationship and a sport. Every athlete knows that their schedule is built around their sport. Your entire day-to-day schedule is planned out. While it can be overwhelming at times, it is also crucial to have a healthy social life. Your teammates outside of your sport are a good source of close friendships, but sometimes a significant other is desired.
Dating requires a lot of work, and it can be tough to find time to have a successful athletic career along with a successful relationship. It takes time and effort from both partners of a couple, and it can become stressful at times. However, open communication is key, just like when you’re on the field, track, mat, pool or court. Communicating, time management and compromising are all integral parts to make your relationship feel whole.
Communication is key
Communication can manifest itself in many different ways in a relationship. If you and your partner can figure out when there is mutual free time to spend together, it makes your relationship that much easier. Even if you both attend the same school, a relationship can feel long-distance if face-to-face interaction is barely occurring. Communicating about why your sport is so important to you can also help grow your relationship; your partner should admire your desire and your love for the sport you play, as well as the work ethic you display.
“Both my sport and my relationship mean very much to me, but I know I can’t let one overpower the other,” said “CC” Carvajal ‘24. “There are times when one will matter more, like when I know I need to sleep enough for a game the next day and can’t see her, but I always do my best to keep the two separated but equally important.”
Sometimes, talking about your sport (i.e., explaining what offensive pass interference is to your partner who doesn’t understand football) is an easy way to have relaxed conversations.
“We are both involved with sports on campus, so we’re busy most of the time, but it gives each of us similar interests and things that we can easily relate to when we talk,” said Nolan Shannon ‘24.
Balance your schedule
Time management can be somewhat easy as an athlete. Practice is at noon, team lifting is at four o’clock and you have to get this essay done by midnight. It can be hard to fit seeing your significant other in with a schedule that is planned hour-by-hour each day. Most athletes find it easy to do these things with their teammates because of similar schedules. However, your partner might feel slighted if they see you with your teammates all the time. This goes back to working on communication. If you are both free after class, try to find time to grab food, study or go on a walk.
“It’s tough at times, sometimes I’ll just try to spend time with her while doing homework,” said Brad Novak ‘23. “It doesn’t seem like much, but at least we can say we’re making an effort trying to see each other.”
Athletes rarely have time to procrastinate things in their lives -they go from deadline to deadline. If you know you and your partner are both free after your game, don’t cram last-minute homework. Set aside time to get everything done. That way, you have some time to see the person that matters so much to you.
Compromising and sacrificing
It may be tough to own up to your imperfections. Yet, it’s crucial to realize that compromising is the best step forward. Compromising shows that the relationship is not all about personal gain – rather growth as a couple. It may be true that, as an athlete, you are skipping out on a party to prepare for tomorrow’s game. However, a compromise with your significant other is a mixture of time management and communication.
Explaining how you are busy and need to rest for an in-conference game tomorrow morning, but would love to get dinner after the match, shows your partner that you are putting forth proper effort to see them. At the same time, if your partner won’t respect a compromise, then it may be best to talk in person about what they want or move on and end the relationship.
At the end of the day, every student-athlete is a lot more than just their schoolwork and their sport. A healthy social life should also be a priority. A relationship shouldn’t be shot down because someone is “too busy.” If you can demonstrate solid effort for all the parts – communication, time management, and compromising – then you can have a relationship that feels whole.
