Most people, if not all, have seen romance movies at least once in their life. Does anyone ever think about how watching these movies can influence them and how they view romantic relationships? After seeing what a NCC professor has to say, one will find that there is an impact.
Socialization
Dr. Mara K. Berkland is a professor of communication. Additionally, this topic is one that she is an expert in. Berkland says that the three things that cause socialization to increase are trust, repetition and reach. When we trust a person, that person has a greater influence on us. We also believe that what that person says to us is normal. Repetition is next. People get familiar with things that they see and hear repeatedly. They also become desensitized. Lastly, looking at reach, when individuals are introduced to concepts that are similar, people as a whole can be cognizant of it.
Furthermore, Berkland discusses that when we watch these movies we believe that we can trust where the stories are coming from, not to mention that we always hear these stories and so does everyone else. These are the reasons why romance movies have an influence on us.
Impact and influence
Berkland discusses that there needs to be more diversity. These movies have repetition, especially Hollywood romance movies, because the stories are the same.
“[Its] like same take on the same sort of story, that has some very traditional gender components in it and gendered expectations,” Berkland said.
An example she gave was of John Green movies such as “If I Stay,” “The Fault in Our Stars” and “The Spectacular Now.”
” … there’s some sort of obstacle but then love prevails in some really horrifyingly bad way … that love is this everlasting feeling. And so we get really comfortable with those,” Berkland said.
Something else that Berkland mentions is that the start of relationships are glorified.
“[Romance movies] set you up for failure when things become boring,” Berkland said.
She also mentions that when one has been in a relationship for many years that person wouldn’t randomly take their significant other on a balloon ride for example. But when someone is at the beginning of a relationship this is something they would do. Additionally, people don’t want to watch someone get their dry cleaning in a movie, instead “We want to escape.”
To add, in these romance movies the person ignores a lot of red flags that are taking place.
” … this person is showing you who they are,” Berkland said.
Further, the representation that is displayed is something that concerns her.
“So I worry about, I worry a lot about representation, dating representation in the media, particularly as it speaks to gender. Because … I don’t think that it’s healthy the way they present dating. I also think that the way they present dating isn’t the way that people should go about dating,” Berkland said.
Moreover, expectations in romance movies can affect people. Berkland talks about how these expectations can make someone disappointed if they think this is how a romantic relationship is and then real-life things take place. These expectations can make one feel like the relationship is supposed to be a certain way. Berkland also talks about standards.
“I think it lowers peoples’ standards in terms of what they’ll put up with,” Berkland said.
According to Psychology Today, it can become an issue when people think the person they are with is perfect or their relationship is perfect. Romance movies show these things and it becomes a problem when one disregards issues because one could be in an environment that isn’t safe or healthy. It is also discusses how stereotypes take place in these movies. To add, there needs to be more representation in romance movies.
A students perspective
Jessica Zambo, ’26, per an email interview discusses how romance movies have an impact on people. Zambo mentions that she thinks the impact is greater when someone hasn’t been in a relationship. She also talks about what relationships are like.
“Romance movies have created unrealistic stereotypes of what relationships look and feel like, especially for those who have never experienced one for themself. Relationships are beautifully messy, and many romance movies tend to follow the same linear path or tropes … creating characters that resonate with viewers can impact the standards we expect in our own relationships because we are comparing them to the fast pace we see them develop on the screen,” Zambo said.
Zambo thinks that as a young kid romance movies had a bigger impact on her than it does now. Now that she is older, her own experiences has led her to know what she wants from a relationship.
“I was raised surrounded by and consuming media that portrayed traditional gender roles and stereotypes, therefore expecting certain things from certain people because I had seen it so much elsewhere that I assumed ‘that was how it was supposed to be,'” Zambo said.
Recommendation
According to BetterHelp, they suggest that one should talk to people they trust if they think romanticized love has had an impact on their romantic relationships.
Berkland discusses real love and what it is like. It’s when your significant other is sick and you pick up what needs to get done, even the things you usually don’t do.
“But that’s dedication. That’s commitment,” Berkland said.
Betterhelp also talks about real love and what it is. They list real love as, “acceptance,” “communication,” “respect, “understanding” and “encouragement.”
In short, looking at all this information, one can determine if romance movies has had an impact on them and their romantic relationships. Now when people watch romance movies they have more information and know that it is not an accurate depiction of real life and what love is.
“It’s working through the muck, and saying I’m not, not going anywhere. This isn’t fun for me. That’s what relationships are because you’re choosing a family when you’re dating,” Berkland said.
